BLUE STORIES
Here are a selection of the inspiring stories that have been shared with The Blue Stories Project: journeys out of perinatal depression and anxiety in collaboration with Maternal Mental Wellbeing Marlborough from the Marlborough region. Ngā mihi nui to all who have contributed.
“You can love motherhood! It starts with taking care of you.” - Angeline
I developed PND and anxiety almost immediately when my first child was born. The anxiety was the worst. I was not diagnosed as I tried to save face and pretend to be fine and have it all together. When he was seven months old we were pregnant again and my condition worsened all the way up until our second son was five months old and I had a mental breakdown. My husband was the one who reached out to Maternal Mental Wellbeing Marlborough and I agreed to attend group therapy for 10 weeks. During that time I had many of my beliefs about motherhood challenged and it was truly the catalyst for my healing. I learned that I must care for myself in order to care for my children and that I had an identity outside of motherhood. The group gave me hope that I could one day be well again and I would say that I fell in love with healing and growth. From there I joined Maternal Mental Wellbeing as a trustee and today I am the Chairperson. I am very proud of that and find it lovely and poetic. Following on with my healing journey I decided to get as much help as I could and tried to have a holistic approach to my wellbeing which is something I learned at the therapy group. I went to anger management counselling, did a physical detox, went to pastoral care with the pastor of my church and started being transparent about my mental health. I slowly allowed myself to accept and ask for help and now transparency is one of my core values. Today, I am an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, my marriage is thriving, I adore being a mother and I help other women who are going through what I did by being transparent about my story.
Angeline
“Our main advice is, you don't have to battle alone. Seek help and find a supportive community that rises to the occasion to help out.” - Jeremy
Angeline and I were new parents and quickly found ourselves struggling. It wasn't until a conversation with my employer about being unable to come to some work shifts that he asked if my wife had PND. I wasn't even aware that was a thing. Once we were in a place where we recognised that the anxiety and depression was there, I was able to reach out to Postnatal Depression Marlborough and seek an appointment with a lovely counselor, Tatiana. Angeline was initially reluctant to attend, but after the session we both felt relieved to know that our experience wasn't unique to just us and that there was support available. Angeline joined a support group with other young mums and, fast forward four years, is today the chairperson of what is now the Maternal Mental Wellbeing Marlborough Trust.
The peace and joy in our home dramatically improved after we sought help, our two boys are now both school age and we have been married just over nine years.
We would like to see awareness of postnatal anxiety and depression increase in the community and among expecting couples. We would also like to see support groups actively engaging these young parents in the community.
Jeremy